“But if baby you’re the bottom, I’m the top!” So goes the old song lyric. But Cole Porter probably wasn’t talking about anal. We are. Find out how to be a better fucker with our guide to the active sexual role.

Before we get stuck into sticking it in, we always support and suggest safer sex. Read our guide to PrEP and use condoms.

We doubt we need to specify this, but for any curious readers who aren’t aware, a ‘top’ or ‘catcher’ (versus a ‘pitcher,’ or a bottom) is the term for the sexual partner that does the penetration.

Stereotypical tops

The most common stereotype for a top is a man who is very masculine, with a big dick and an athletic build.

As I’m sure you’re aware, stereotypes are a really unhelpful way of trying to understand something, so keep reading for a more authentic breakdown.

Anyone can be a top

Yeah, lots of tops are masculine, beefy guys. But lots of tops are tiny twinks or super-camp, fabulous bears too.

There is no rule that says a certain type of guy should be a top or a bottom. Hey, why not be both? Here’s our guide to being versatile if you want to find out more.

F**king ass can be an awesome experience, but if you’re only top because you’re nervous or confused about the role of a bottom, check out our guide to being a bottom .

Being a top comes with a lot of responsibility

When a bottom guy gives you his ass, he’s assuming you’re going to look after it. Don’t just shove your cock in as if he’s a fleshlight (unless that’s what he likes and you’ve already talked about it).

It can really hurt when a top just sticks his cock in. That’s the kind of behaviour that can put a guy off from getting f**ked for a long time, so, be incredibly gentle at first and work slowly together.

Talk to your guy and ask him for permission as you’re going in. Inch by inch, cm by cm, if necessary.